Garry's Story
Garry, now a hypnotherapist himself, shares his story of taking agency in his battle against depression, and reaching out.
"Once I had that knowledge, that I CAN change things, all the pieces in my recovery started to fall into place."
About Garry:
I’m 52 years old with 3 children, 2 mad cats and 1 crazy dog. I now work as a hypnotherapist but I previously worked as a builder and in several factory jobs. I enjoy Thai boxing and reading up on how the brain works. I’m also currently getting into how we can change our minds by visualisation and changing self beliefs by “rebuilding ourselves” (aka neuroplasticity).
WHAT WAS THE MAJOR TURNING POINT IN YOUR RECOVERY FROM DEPRESSION?
The main thing that changed my problems was uncovering the belief that I could in fact change things. It sounds obvious now, but at the time I felt like depression (mine was at least partly caused by OCD) was something I had no say in.
When I didn’t think I could change anything, I looked outwards (to a GP or hospital), instead of recognizing that I was the captain of my own ship – even if I couldn’t feel like it then! For me this realization came while reading a book, but I could have gotten that insight from a 1,000 different places – and once I had that knowledge, that I CAN change things, all the pieces in my recovery started to fall into place.
WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT REALLY HELPED?
- Giving your brain something positive to focus on. Brains need to have a focus, if you don’t give your brain a focus, it will focus on your problems instead.
- Talk to people, don’t be ashamed, don’t feel stupid or weak, you’re not! Showing your emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Learn to trust in yourself. You need to realise that hating yourself only makes your symptoms worse. You need to learn to love yourself more.
- Find inspiration, it’s everywhere. From famous people you might look up to, from places like Pinterest, find a saying that resonates with you and make it your mantra. For me, it was the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley, which ends with the line “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHER GUYS FIGHTING DEPRESSION?
Fight back! Life can be cruel and heartless and can kick you while you’re down. Look on forums and read others stories to see how they overcame their challenges. Sometimes, you only need ONE thing for your brain to latch onto and motivate you to help you get out of a bad situation.
Learn to accept yourself, and that you can accept yourself while you are still improving yourself. You can do it, yes you!! Exercise, use weights, learn new skills. Believe it or not, part of depression is learning negative behaviors and thoughts that then reinforce it, so you can unlearn these too.
Remember, we all have dark days, when we want to give up or we think there’s no point. Someone somewhere, even if it’s a stranger on the internet cares.
My life now, is totally different to what it was, and if I can get better, so can you.
– Garry Webster, Ripley, UK